Honest Trailers: Harry Potter
by CarlitosLover
Summary: The students of Hogwarts, at the end of first term feast of Harry Potter's fifth year, watch a video that Dumbledore shows without explanation, and are greeted with laughter, sadness, ridicule, and confusion. Taken from the Honest Trailer: Harry Potter by Screen Junkies.


**Okay I do realize this is very stupid, I just noticed no one had any fics about that amazing video that I laughed so hard at. I'm sure you all will think different things to this but I like the video, but I don't really like this fanfiction**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything in bold, or the characters.**

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Dumbledore smiles with the old twinkling in his eyes as he lowers the screen in the Great Hall. He dims the candles as the screen fuzzes then flashes with words.

**Okay already.**

"Do those say my name?" Harry asked and everyone started whispering but stopped when the voice started again.

**From J.K. Rowling, the author of the book series that kept Borders open for another few years, comes the movie adaptation for the people to lazy to read. Harry Potter.**

"Book series?!" Students were yelling questionly about the expansive hall.

**"You're a Wizard, Harry."**

"Look 't's me!"

**When and evil noseless freak threatens to take over the world,**

Naturally everyone laughed at the noseless freak joke.

**it's up to this boy wizard,**

People smile and nudge Harry as he groans.

**his totally useless friend,**

"HEY!"

**and his superior in every way hot lady friend, to defeat him.**

"I like this guy." Hermione blushes and she brushes her hair back.

**And when I said "hot" I only meant in the last three movies after she turned eighteen, pervs.**

She blushed even deeper.

**Journey along as they travel to a magical boarding school, where kids learn potions, spell, and divination, but not english, math or science.**

"We have Arithmancy!" A random Ravenclaw shouted.

**Where technology seems to be frozen in the 19th century, replacing cell phones and the internet with quill pens and owls.**

Everyone nodded, in confusion on why they go 'old school' as well.

**And where child endangerment is totally no big deal.**

Everyone gasps as they watch the scenes of Harry falling out of the flying car, the Basilisk, the troll attacking the stalls, the Whomping Willow, the spiders, (Ron cringed even more at this), the Bludger attack, Draco getting hit at the Dueling Club (Gryffindor's mostly snickered at that as Draco groaned), then Draco getting attacked by the Hippogriff which made more people laugh and Draco blush deep red, Ron getting smacked in the face with a broom got everyone else to laugh.

**My goodness!**

More of the Whomping Willow, Draco turning into a ferret ("why do they always go to me!?"), Tri-Wizard Tournament, Katie Bell (this confused everyone because they didn't know who that was), falling into the fire (more whispering and curiosity for this hasn't been heard of yet), and then the Final Battle.

**Seriously, how have they not shut this school down yet?**

Dumbledore and the rest of the teachers were frowning, now that they think about everything that goes on.

**A franchise so epic it took ten years, eight films, four directors and two Dumbledore's to tell.**

"Ten years? Does that mean it even expands after Hogwarts?" Ron asked.

**Featuring: The One That Started It All**

"Sorcerer's Stone, year one."

**The One Everyone Hates**

"I am not alone in this, thank Merlin. Worst year ever." Ginny rested her head on her hand at that thought.

**The One Everyone Loves**

"Sirius!"

**The One With Shovelface**

"Huh?"

**The One With The Raging Hormones**

Cho and Harry glance at each other, blush and quickly look away.

**The One Where Dumbledore Dies**

Pandemonium broke out across the Great Hall, they paused the show as everyone is making too much noise to pay attention.

"SILENCE!" yelled Dumbledore, expanding his voice throughout the Hall. Everyone fell silent immediately, but they still wept silently. McGonagall's and Pomfrey's have their hands clasped over their mouths, tears rolling down their face. Snape actually has a saddened, shocked, and gaping face. Harry, Ron and Hermione both had several tears rolling down their faces.

**….oh spoiler alert.**

"A little warning next time!"

**The One You Can Skip**

**And The One That Made Adults Cry Like Little Babies**

"That's seven years if those two have two parts. They all take place in each of your years at Hogwarts!" Hermione exclaimed.

**Follow our heros as they transform from adorable youngsters struggling to act:**

**"I..can't be a-a, a wizard."**

"Awww, you are so adorable!" Most girls squealed at him. Harry blushed.

**To awkward tweens,**

More giggling.

**to barely legal heartthrobs, to young adults pretending to look like grown ups. Ron really let himself go.**

"Seriously! I am gonna get fat!?"

**Witness the magic that will dazzle you with questions like:**

**If magic is supposed to be secret, "You have risked the exposure of our world." Why is their doorway in the most highly trafficked subway station in London?**

They're faces all twisted with confusion and realization that that is in fact true.

**Why are all the bullies in one house? "Slytherin!"**

"We are not all bullies!" A random Slytherin shouts.

**And why don't they just expel them?**

The Slytherins had an outburst at this. "You can't expel us!" "No!" "WE AREN'T ALL BULLIES!"

**And isn't it disturbing that this rat on Ron's crouch is actually a grown man?**

The Golden Trio all shivered at the idea of Wormtail.

**Relive the excitement of acclaimed British Thespians yelling nonsense:**

**"Velate Ascendia"** ("He was nonsense.)

**"Rubeus Hagrid"** ("That's ma name, not nonsense!")

**"Avada Kedavra"**

**"Felix Felicis"** ("Who is that?")

**"Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw and Slytherin"** ("I do not believe any of this is nonsense.")

**Battles that would have been way cooler with Lightsabers, or if just moved around a little more.**

"What are lightsabers?"

"This does look boring."

**And Rupert Grint's dumb face.**

"This is amazing, Merlin, hilarious!"

**Starring…**

**Luke Skypotter**

"Huh?"

**Ginger Spice**

Ron smiled and puffed his chest.

**Your First Erection**

Most students laughed at this as Hermione hid her head.

**Warwick Davis**

**Professor Hans Gruber**

"Snape!" someone laughed.

**Claudio Miranda**

"Is that supposed to be my father?"

**Hairy Old Man**

"Sirius?"

**Warwick Davis**

"Didn't they say him?"

**Forest Whitaker**

"Who are these people? Are these the actors names?"

**Hodor**

**Michael Jackson**

"I like his music! That looks nothing like him!"

**Lindsay Lohan**

"Creepy!"

**Warwick Davis**

"Now I know they said this!"

**Vladimir Putin**

"Who?"

**Larry King**

"I think he is just trying to be mean."

**Gandalf The Gay**

"Gay?" was whispered throughout the hall, and Dumbledore just hid in his hands, he didn't want to be outed like that!

**and Warwick Davis**

"Okay, seriously."

**Harry Potter**

**So Quidditch makes absolutely no sense, right? A hundred and fifty point ball? That's just bullshit right there.**

"Quidditch so makes sense! You are just a stupid muggle who know's nothing!" a Hufflepuff shouted, obviously hurt by the statement.

The screen disappears and Dumbledore looks around at everyone, "I may regret that I showed this."

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**So how bad was it? Horrible? Yeahhh :(**


End file.
